Just (Don’t) Say It!

I love people. I look back on our journey so far and I know for sure that we would not be able to survive the journey alone. We were (and still are!) carried in so many prayers and acts of love.

But there are some comments that were, uhm…… interesting? (Insert cringe here)

If you are a cancer sidekick as well, I bet you can laugh with me. If you are not, well, just take a mental note of never saying this too people who are going through a cancer journey.

• It’s gonna be fine (in a dismissive way). No, it’s not. It’s tough and painful and sucks and sometimes it does NOT end well. Acknowledge our feelings and our journey. Understand that at times it’s okay not to be FINE (except if FINE is an acronym of frustrated, insecure, neurotic and exhausted then yeah…..)
• Maybe it’s time to forgive some people. What are you trying to say? That this cancer is OUR fault?  We are not saints and we know it. BUT SERIOUSLY? The next one is also a winner: 
• This cancer might be a warning for you to repent from your sins. Yeah, I do need to ask forgiveness for all the profanities I am about to throw at you. JK. LOL
• Stop eating meat/dairy/fish/chicken/non-organic fruit and veggies and make sure you cook everything yourself. Really? So what SHOULD we eat? And after days of sleeping in the hospital couch of course the first thing we want to do is cook a fresh, homemade meal! 
• Do you know how dangerous chemo is? There is this “natural” remedies that are “scientifically proven” better than chemo? Well chemo is poison and yeah …. *scurry away*.
• Have you asked for a second opinion? No, we just trust people. Hahaha. Of course we have! We went through denial too and we have asked for a gazillion opinions. Thank you very much. 

I asked Andrew and this is his list:

• Being pitied: Oh you poor little thing. No we are not poor nor little nor a thing. Encourage us and pull out our best character instead of making us feel like this little, sad person.
• Asked the same questions, over and over. Because yeah, after being nauseous through chemo; we definitely want to answer the same question 25 times. This is why Jesus created group chat, people. Please read our updates carefully. We love you (so much)!!!! 

Okay, okay, it’s not fair if I just focused on the “interesting” stuff. Here are the BEST thing that people say and do for as:

• What can I do for you? And they mean it! A friend said that to me and I called him at 10 pm at night when Andrew was running a horrible fever and he actually came! Another friend happily drive me at 5 AM to pick my mum up from the airport. FIVE IN THE MORNING PEOPLE! That is love.
• We are thinking of/ praying for you. Little texts and reminders that can pull you out from isolation and depression. It is amazing how cancer can detach you from the “real world”. 

Auds xx