So Andrew was admitted due to GVHD last month, and honestly it was scary as heck. He can barely eat and tired all the time. The docs and nurses said that our GVHD was considered “mild” which is reassuring…yet make me think if this is “mild” what would “really bad” look like. You know what? I don’t wanna know.
Anyway.
The beauty of seeking medical help in foreign country (we are in HangZhou, China) is no other than a cultural clash. For instance, being raised in a Dutch-Indonesian family means you speak with a polite tone… all the time. Probably why I have conflict-resolution problem. That is really different with Chinese-style of talking…which is equal with shouting in my head.
My point is, when we stayed in the hospital we have to share a room. Which means we got a roomie….yay.. *awkward silence*. It was pretty safe to say that we had some issues. For example, Andrew was a light sleeper while our roomie and his caretaker will have long, deep conversation (in our head: shouting match) at midnight.
Fun times.
On our second week in the hospital, Andrew was coming out from the bathroom with a very serious face.
Andrew: Uhmmmm… don’t freak out okay?
Me : WHY???? *freaking out already*
Andrew : There is a bowl with some eels in the bathroom.
Me : What???? Like… alive?
Andrew : Yeah I heard like noises when I was in there. I think there’s four in the bowl. Probably our roomies pet?
So apparently you can bring your pet (or will-be dinner, as we found out a little bit later) in the hospital. Great. As we manoeuvre through our cultural clash, there are a couple of lessons that we learned in the process:
1. No one like a tell-tale. I made a mistake of asking the nurse to help translate to our roomies that we need the light to be off at night. He thought I was telling on him. I got a death stare afterwards. Not funny because I sleep, like, right there. He can slither one of his eel up my blanket at night and that would be scary.
2. Bribing works. Be on their good side. Help them if they can. Share your fruit baskets. If you have a good relationship with them, it would be easier to talk to them when you need something or asking a favour.
3. Try to understand first BEFORE you react. Sometimes things just can’t go your way. Keep in mind that whatever you or your “patient” is feeling or experiencing, your roomie probably feel that too. At one point, Andrew was placed in a ward where some people was attached to loud-beeping-heart-machine-support thingy. Of course that was a non-negotiable. We just have to suck it up and deal with it. Earplugs works wonder, by the way.
4. Don’t be afraid to ask. If they are too loud or if they did something that bug you, politely inform them and ask them to stop. You would be surprise how many “yes” you can get from a well-mannered request.
5. Take the first step if you can. One of my biggest pet-peeve is dirty bathrooms. Most of the time, I can’t control how our roomie in the hospital use the bathroom. What I usually do is set the standard. I cleaned everything, put out loads of toilet paper roll (while gesturing “please feel free to use them!”), buy nice-smelling hand soap and put a blue-thingy in the toilet. People tend to keep stuff clean if it’s clean in the first place. So, just do it.
If all else fail, ask the nurses to mediate for you. Especially when it comes to the patient well-being. For example, cleanliness is a risk for infection; so if your roomie is peeing everywhere you have to take action. For anything else that is ‘just’ annoying and don’t worth the fight: let it go.
Oh and here’s a picture of an eel. They are a horrible creatures to have in your bathroom. Just saying
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